Made me a bit crazy at times. Which can, when combined with a belly full of beer, make for some very entertaining and embarrassing stories. At this stage in my learning it is about acceptance. Accepting self or the self i am at this stage. Also accepting what and who, i have done and been. It is like they say “all good” if you realize we all play the same games for the same fear based reasons. But it is not about others it is about self. It is not for me about what another did or did not do. It is, or should be, only about what i do, what i say, and how i choose to live.

Recently while having the opportunity to speak with a Teacher i finally got it. Not “THE IT” just a small nugget of “IT” ! Which is OK even for one so impatient as i. This Teacher’s words helped me to get the fact that it is a process more so than an epiphany. For me it seems to take hearing something over and over and over again until “light dawns on marble head”!! But that is Ok in that we all learn and accept at our own pace. Hearing something, learning something and accepting something are now quite different than knowing something, for me. At some point things click and another piece of the puzzle fits into place for me. Much like finally being able to do a movement from class which i had been struggling with. When this happens, rather than shake my head and look at the floor while mumblimg “Tupid, Tupid, Tupid”. Now there is a warm feeling and a slightly downward smirk with a most positive shake of the head. In this i can see just how much energy was wasted on trying to be what was deemed acceptable by, for, and to, others. So no looking back with regret or shame. Irony is … it was NOT me. In working so hard to be the me i thought i was supposed to be i almost lost the me i could be. It is not about my mistakes. But through seeing them for what they were, and befriending them, we can shine the light of honesty on what is ahead. Well, after some good humored honest laughter and maybe some blushing. OOPS! “Did i do that?”

The things which previously caused drama and often led to full contact Logak (hand to hand combat) were never about me they were never mine. Yes i had accepted them and made them mine, just as i made all the misery and drama i received from the news and so many other sources mine. The conflict came for me from listening to outer voices as opposed to my inner voice. Outer voices are many, seductive, relentless and loud. Inner voice is clear, humble, knowing and soft.

i guess what i am trying to say is we all are truly in this together. We all are responsible for what we attract to our own life experiences. This in that we share and interact with so many others in an ongoing and constant process. Sooooooooo quite simply put, do not make someone else’s problem your problem. Do not be motivated by drama and negatives that are not yours. Listen to your self and not the herd. In doing this you are not different you are just being a most unique, beautiful and powerful being … your SELF. And that my friends is a beautiful thing.

Oh yeah, when you do get there. When you do get “IT”, stop by The School and let me know how you did it. Because i can use all the help i can get!!! Sojammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm !!!!!!

–Anonymous Student, Boabom North

©2012 The Boabom Journal. All Rights Reserved.